Ethnic Names

In "The 'F Word'", an excerpt from Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America by Firoozeh Dumas, Dumas describes life as a young girl with an ethnic name. Aside from being very humorous, this autobiographical essay depicts a story I'm sure countless immigrants in America can relate to. Like herself, her brother Arash would be made fun of for his name by being constantly asked "if it itched". Dumas says, Firoozeh, which means "Turquoise" in Farsi, roughly translated to "Unpronounceable" in English. After being teased throughout her childhood for her difficult name, Dumas decided she needed to choose a simpler, more American one. "[She] chose Julie" and her brothers later followed suit by calling themselves "Fred and Sean". Dumas found that after changing her name life became easier, and "infinitely simpler". In addition to that, people actually remembered her name, which was "an entirely refreshing and new sensation".
When Dumas went to college she decided to change her name back to Firoozeh. "All was well until [she] graduated and started looking for a job". Unfortunately, she could not get a single interview, so she added "Julie" to her resume. "Call it coincidence, but the job offers started coming in".
Although she changed her name to Julie, she still had many family and friends who called her Firoozeh. Dumas compared having two names to being like a "soap opera character who [has] an evil twin". Eventually, she decided to end her 'double life' and revert back to her real name. By then she was a stay at home mom who didn't have to care about job interviews or or people bothering to remember her name. To add, Dumas also lived in Silicon Valley, where ethic names were more commonly seen such as, "Rajeev, Avishai, and Insook".
Dumas claims that she has "found that Americans are now far more willing to learn new names", despite a few close minded people.

If you can relate to Dumas's story, I would love to hear yours as well! Comment down below if you have ever encountered an experience like any of Dumas's mentioned above.

When You're an Addams...

If you've never seen The Addams Family, then you really should (shameless self promo.... buy your tickets at the Troy Theater Ensemble website before they sell out!). This fabulous show is chalked full of clever symbolism and hilarious figures of speech.  First things first, Morticia, The Addams Family's leading lady, sings a song called "Death is Just Around the Corner".  While singing, she is over joyed by the thought of death, which ultimately makes her feel better about the circumstances of her marriage. In the title of the song the word 'corner' has a double meaning. It means what you would think, that death is in the near future, but it's also a play on words because a 'coroner' is someone who examines dead bodies. Also Morticia derives from mortician, a funeral director. In the midst of all the dark humor, there is also a smattering of slap stick comedy. Pugsly, Morticia's son, pretends to be a cub scout to impress the family of his sisters boyfriend, in doing so he whispers to the family "put some money in the can, and no one gets hurt!" His veiled threat always gets a hardy laugh from the audience. There are also some pretty hilarious innuendos that I always giggle at back stage. Unfortunately I don't think Ms. Valentino would appreciate me explaining those on this blog, so I guess you'll just have to come see the show and find out!

Promo Video!!

Death of a Candle

In my hands I hold a unvarnished strand of wick. Untouched by wax, and unbeknownst to the feeling of
fire. The wax I’ve been preparing has melted, and is ready to completely cover and conceal the wicks
torso. I plunge the wick into the oozing wax, then finally pull it up for air. Each layer more oppressive than
the next. The torturous process continues till the wick is sufficiently weighed down by the burden of wax.
The wick is now forced to work in tandem with the wax, ultimately resulting in their partnership as a
candle.

I place my new candle horizontally, hanging on the edge of the corner on my rectangular desk. Each end
sways in the air, waiting for stability. When it has finally balanced, I strike a match and light each end.
My candle burns with agony from head to toe, rather wick to wick. Both ends liquefy the wax in its way at
equal speeds.

After a few hours my candle grows numb to the pain. There is only an inch left of wax. The residue from
the defeated wick lies ashy on the ground. Stalagmites have formed, covering the corner of my
rectangular desk. There is only a centimeter left of wax. The flames of the fire erode the remaining wax,
till there is only a millimeter left. The final wax drips away before I’m able to say goodbye.

The untouched, pure wick I had once held in my hand is now riddled with carcinogens, and transformed
to ash. My candle, burning from both ends, is finally at peace. Although my precious wick is deceased,
the wax that once burdened it gets to remain.

As the soul of my candle ascends into the unknown, its body lays stiff on the corner of my rectangular
desk. Can its soul ever be redirected and its body left useless, or has its soul dissolved into nothingness
and its body left to be re-purposed?

Do You Believe in the 5 Second Rule?

I am a firm believer in the 5 Second Rule. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this rule, let me enlighten you. The 5 Second Rule dates back as far as anyone can remember. This technique has been used for centuries because of its practicality and non-wasteful ways. The 5 Second Rule, by definition, is when a remnant of food descends from ones hands/mouth onto a surface, thus causing one to swiftly pick up the fallen remnant and relocated it back into ones hands/mouth. The controversy of this matter is whether or not it is safe to ingest food that has been on an unknown surface: floor, restaurant table, carpet, etc. I'll have you know, this process is rather safe if you posses common sense. If you don't, here are some question you can ask yourself if caught in such a predicament.
What kind of food did I just drop? If it falls under the category "sticky" or has a sort of damp coding - suckers, ice cream, hard candy, something you have been sucking on - do not eat it. I repeat do NOT eat it! Now, if the food you dropped is hard, such as an apple, it is certainty okay to dust it off on your shirt and continue eating. As for an already bitten into apple, all you have to do is run it under the sink for bit, and it's good as new. 
Second question you should ask yourself is, what type of surface did my food just touch? If it is a surface you are familiar with - like your own kitchen floor or dinner table - then you can judge whether it is clean enough for your liking. The 5 Second Rule tends to get a bit blurry when it comes to public spaces. It all depends on how comfortable you are, and how strong or weak your immune system is. If your food has fallen on the floor of the school cafeteria, the subway, a muddy hall way, or anything that is alarmingly dirty do NOT eat it! When it comes to the outdoors I feel it is okay to eat something after it has fallen on the grass, but never if it has directly touched dirt. 
The final question is, how long was my food on the ground? In my opinion, The 5 Second Rule can safely be stretched to 20 seconds. Anything past 30 seconds, say goodbye to your food. Once again, this also applies to how long you are comfortable with your food touching unknown surfaces. 
In truth, the 5 Second Rule might not be all that safe, but it helps one from being wasteful and can help in times of need. The 5 Second Rule is very useful in times of crisis. If you dropped your sandwich at lunch are you going to starve, or pick that perfectly good sandwich up?  Pick up the perfectly good sandwich!